


Cassettes, a Ballum One-Shot.

by benshearingaid



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23726041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benshearingaid/pseuds/benshearingaid
Summary: 'Ben had tilted his head to one side as they sat in the silence, both of them not quite knowing what to say. Both of them wanting to say the words but not wanting to be the first."Wait there." Ben had said, a soft instruction that had bolted Callum to the spot.'
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	Cassettes, a Ballum One-Shot.

Callum bit his lip, the silence almost deafening for him. The lamp on the side table lit up the walls of the Mitchell household in dim orange, something that should make the room feel warm, inviting, but all Callum felt was cold. 

The bottle of beer Ben had placed onto the coffee table cried, the condensation dripping down onto the coaster. Callum sighed and reached for it, feeling the cool glass on his fingertips reminded him that this was real, he was here, it wasn't the same reoccuring dream he'd lived each night.

He wondered why he was here. Why he had even bothered coming over when they were ruined.  
Over.  
Finished. 

The thought caused a strange feeling in Callum's chest, an ache in his heart that he hadn't been able to shift since the moment he turned on his heel and walked away from Ben Mitchell for good.

For good, he exhaled and shook his head, he was sat in the man's living room, for goodness sake. 

It was like his body was glued to the sofa. Stitched to the material on the cushions. Stuck to the spot. He wanted to leave but he couldn't. He physically couldn't move.

Ben had cried. Callum had cried. But enough was enough. There was only so many times Callum could hear Ben give him another excuse. Another reason he was being difficult. Another reason he couldn't let him in to his heart. Another reason he was too good for him.

The golden liquid slipped down Callum's throat with ease and within minutes, the bottle was empty. He contemplated going to the fridge for another but then remembered he didn't have the right to do that anymore. Instead, he politely placed the bottle down onto the coaster again.

He clasped his hands together, rubbing at his palm with his thumb, tracing the lines with his fingernail.  
He was waiting for something, but he wasn't sure what.

Ben had tilted his head to one side as they sat in the silence, both of them not quite knowing what to say. Both of them wanting to say the words but not wanting to be the first.  
"Wait there." Ben had said, a soft instruction that had bolted Callum to the spot.

Callum heard as Ben came down the stairs, returning to him. He glanced at the door frame, seeing Ben holding a shoe box.  
Ben walked to the old music player in the corner. It was ancient, Callum could tell. Probably Phil's.  
Silently, Ben placed a tape into the cassette tape section and listened as the tape rewound.  
Callum could only watch, confused but intrigued.

"When I was younger, it was so loud here. I was still getting used to my new hearing aid and all Dad did was shout. I'd go out and go into town. I'd go into all the charity shops and there was all of these answering machines in them as we headed into the new tech era." Ben chuckled and ran his finger along one of the edges of the tape in his hand.  
"Did you steal those?" Callum asked, somewhere between shocked and amused.  
"It's not like I stole the machines, only the tapes." Ben shrugged.  
Callum shook his head, wanting to feel irritated.  
"I've never listened to them." Ben admitted. "They could be all rubbish... but..." His voice trailed off as he stopped himself asking Callum to listen with him.  
Almost inviting Callum itself, the rewinding stopped, indictating the tape was at the beginning now.  
Ben stayed next to the record player, Callum stayed on the sofa, seperated.  
As they were in reality.

The first tape began to play.  
_Laura, it's Mum. I know you're probably busy but I just wondered if you'd like to come over for lunch at some point next week. Your Auntie Geraldine will probably come too and that's why I ask. You know the woman irritates me. God, love her... but she's an obnoxious woman. Your Father will kill me if he knew I said that.... don't tell him... you should probably delete this too, sweetheart..... anyway... let me know.... it's Mum by the way!_  
Callum smirked as the recording stopped. Ben made a comment about it too, something about it sounding like his own Mother.

The second message began. A male voice now, professional.  
_This is Doctor Platt calling for a Laura Jones. I'm sorry to have to cancel the appointment with you on the 28th. Unfortunately I am booked into a course for that day so I will have to swap you to the 30th, please give me a call back to confirm you are available._

Ben joked about how it was probably an STD she was sorting out. Callum rolled his eyes.

They made their way through the messages, Ben grumbling about how boring it was before moving onto the next tape. 

_Congratulations, you two!!! Your first day as Mr and Mrs! I'm so happy for you. Drinks soon, please? I'll be over soon with your present. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for your big day but just know I was thinking of you! Love you! Call me!_

"Hets.... Boring! Next!" Ben grumbled, again, switching to a new tape.

This one was loud, shouty... scary.

_You fucking bitch. I know you're screwing my husband. I know you think he's going to leave me for you but that is not going to happen, do you hear me? You leave him alone. And if I ever catch you emailing him again, I will take this further. That's a promise._

The message stopped. Ben was smirking.  
"Bloody hell, was that Whitney?" He asked, quick as a flash.  
Callum struggled to keep his laughter in. 

It was nice. It was... warming. Defrosting the air. The ice.

Without saying another word, Ben turned, pressing play to continue listening. 

_Carol, it's bad news. Please, give me a call. As soon as you can._

Callum raised his eyebrows slowly as the tape stopped. 

"It's weird, isn't it?" He asked, quietly.  
Ben turned to him, not saying anything. 

"It's weird how... these people are still living their lives now and we don't know them. We don't know what they're doing or who they're with... I dunno.... we're just listening to their past. Are they still hurting? Are they still happy?" Callum felt strange listening to these tapes, somewhat invasive. 

Ben shrugged.

"Last one." He said, holding up a single tape.

Callum nodded his permission and settled back into his seat, his eyes focusing on the empty bottle on the table again.  
Silently, Ben pressed play and stood back before sitting beside Callum.

It was a male voice, they sounded sad. Their voice full of pain.

_I'm just calling to say that I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry. I..... I guess I just miss you. I miss your voice and I was really hoping you'd pick up the phone. Maybe you're out, I dunno. Maybe you're ignoring your calls._

There's a sigh on the line. It tugs on Callum's heart and he feels like he could cry.

_I messed up. I'm messed up. But please know that this.... all of this was my fault. I want to believe it's going to be alright but I'm scared you won't ever forgive me. Not that I'd blame you.... what I did was stupid... I know that. Please... will you just call me? So we can talk? I miss you._

The message stopped, the whirring continued but the silence in the room remained. Both men were stuck there, their heads full of thoughts, the words they desperately wanted to say on the tips of their tongues.

Ben placed his hand on Callum's knee, a silent apology.  
Callum turned, the gap between them now closed and the cold chill suddenly feeling warm. 

"Me too." He whispered. 


End file.
